7hrs and 4 years ago......

......my life changed forever. Beging with a numbness up my arm and continuing with numbness running down each of my fingers on my left hand, one at a time, I knew something was seriously wrong. I thought for sure I was having a stroke. Little did I know, reaching the hospital in my husbands van, being taken to the back emergency area, because a lot of SARS was going around then, my day would take a turn for the worst. They asked me to climb up on to the gurney, my words came out all garbled and everything went black. 3 days later I woke to someone yelling my name and telling me to wake up. It was a Doctor named Shibley. She said "You have lung cancer, time to wake up" What the hell??? I was shocked, not about the cancer but about the way this so-called doctor spoke to me. I never saw her again throughout my entire treatment, but to this day I remember her face. What a bitch!!

Anyway, doctors and nurses were in and out, people came to visit,friends and family. I got to know the other 3 ladies in my room. I was the youngest. 4 years later I am still friends with Nancy and Jane. Ironically Nancy lives just up the street from my in-laws, I often drop in to see her. Jane is a bit further away but I keep in touch. The little old lady who loved her bacon was so sweet, sadly I can't remember her name. Peter brought in some bacon for her one day (with permission from her doctor) and it was like he gave her a million bucks she was so happy lol.

My first treatment was radiation to my brain. No big deal,until my hair fell out and my skin fell off. Reactions to medications followed. Two trips by ambulance for anaphylactic shock to meds and a few trips to ER to sort things out. Weekly chemo visits where I became friends with the wonderful nurses like Donna, Shelley, Traci, Spiroulla and Marianne. They eventually learned my morbid sense of humour when it came to this dreadful disease. I often had them in stitches (no pun intended). Sadly after going to the chemo room, much of the staff has changed and the new girls don't know me as well since I take oral chemo at home now. I am only there once a month for about 20 minutes instead of 4hrs at a time. Then there is my doctors, Dr. Anna Tomiak and Dr. Cindy Lollar, the best doctors in the world. They listen, they suggest, they care. They are also surprised I'm still alive. My nurse Charity is a hoot. She always has something to say to make me laugh! Then there is Lori. She is a family friend who was able to get me into the cancer clinic quickly and with Dr T&L. I will never be able to thank her enough.

My appointments have been a lot of work. In the beginning they were so often it felt like all I was doing was hospital and sleeping and popping pills (17 a day at one point). Things started to slow down. I always had company though, my husband accompanied me most of the time, my mother in law, my sister (in laws) Julie and Teri, my brother (in law) Steve, and a few friends here and there. I don't know what I would have done without them, thank you. Currently I go for one appointment a month. 1 is a short one just to have my pamidronate put in the IV port, then my nurse Chris comes to the apartment to remove it for me. The following month is my long appointment, usually about 4 hours. Bloodwork, x-ray, doc appointment and pamidronate. Then I wait at home for 2-3 hrs for the Pammi to run it's course and Chris comes over to remove it. An all day event.

How am I feeling you ask? I feel relatively good. My only real complaint is that I am tired and cold all the time. My hair is about 1/2 an inch long, sticking straight up, very fuzzy, but soft. I notice it's growing quickly now. I am taking 3 pills for seizures, 1 for bladder issues and the new chemo pill twice a day that is pinpointing my exact cancer gene for the lung cancer I have. My skin is dry and flaky in places, I use Aveeno, the only cream I've found that doesn't make me break out. I bruise easily, you should see my arms and legs after we moved! I look like a giant grape/plum. Yes, we moved again, from a 2 bedroom to a brand new 3 bedroom, completely renovated, it's GORGEOUS!!! We are still in the same building but down to the second floor from the 4th. Other than that, as I sit here today on my fourth anniversary, I think I'm catching a cold. I just had a bowl of nice warm oatmeal hoping it helps warm me up a little. Mau, my cat, is curled up beside me, at least the left side of me is warm, lol,

Well my dear readers, who knew I would be writing this note to thank all of you for all your love, support, encouragement and prayers. I couldn't be more blessed to have ALL of you in my life.